My Dilemma with Social Media
I have been off of social media for around three years now. That’s enough of a break, I think, to step back and say, with certainty, that social media is a dark trap. I have firmly believed the cons outweigh the pros, but lately I’ve been letting up on this perspective in my brain space.
Over the past three years, I have used my time to pick up new hobbies and create different types of art. I have also learned to know when my brain is truly in a relaxed state, versus a state of heightened anxiety. When I do the scrolling that I do now - which is lame, like, refreshing my email or going on cooking websites- I notice this slight unsettled feeling. I think Instagram is so numbing that I didn’t even notice this feeling, whereas something like email is boring, so my brain can have more space to nudge me and say, what are you doing? Go read a book or something. Being off social media has also allowed me to distance myself from performative activism, digest the news on my own accord, and have real dialogue with people who may not agree with my beliefs.
I’m working my last two weeks as a music teacher starting tomorrow. Then we go on tour and I transition to attempting to be a full time artist. I have roughly six months of money to figure out how to make it financially from art before I will have to get another job. I’m wondering if my stubbornness with being off of social media will continue to serve me.
From what I understand, and I’m not sure if this is brainwash, you need to be on social media in order to ‘make it’ as an artist. I suppose there’s an argument that says that the internet is where culture is now, and art is a part of culture. But the stubborn voice in my head says make it without it.
The part of me that wants so badly to make my art be a sustainable, full time practice, is willing to do anything. Especially the one thing that has a chance of getting my art out there. How can I truly know if I don’t try? Can I work a daily or weekly post into my art practice without succumbing to the machine? Does even thinking about it mean that I’m being sucked into the addictive vortex that these apps were designed to be? Should I be one tiny voice in dissent, or should I attempt to use the platforms to benefit me?
I really don’t know. My ideology and stubbornness is at war with my drive and deep desire to be seen and heard through art. If you’re hearing this - if somehow, against all odds, the algorithms delivered these words find you, what do you think?
